Introduction - Making Creative Decisions after 50

Are you stuck in first gear about what to do next in your life? Struggling to figure out what you really want to do with the next phase? Dissatisfied with the advice to “find your passion” and unable to find the kind of help with these decisions that you would like? You are not alone!
When my co-author Judy DeBrandt and I set out to find help for making a couple of major life decisions at age 62, we were surprised at what we found. Despite a ton of books on life after 50, most of the information seemed to gloss over the challenges of making decisions at this point in life. Some books were filled with positive, inspirational stories but little practical information. Others prescribed solutions with limited guidance – to ‘get out of your comfort zone’ or ‘let go.’ Those that did provide more specific direction tended to recommend a particular path, often around ‘finding your passion,’ but nothing about how to make the decision and how to choose among the many options that might exist.
We decided to do more research on this issue. So we read, reflected, talked about our own experiences, and interviewed over sixty American men and women in the mid-years of their lives. Interview participants came from a wide network of friends and colleagues as well as others interested in the challenges of making decisions after 50. Most of those who took part in the research were in their sixties, although the participants ranged in ages from 48 to 72, with many different personal characteristics and a wide range of experience. Some people were married or in committed relationships; some have gone through divorce; several were widowed. All were educated with a variety of different undergraduate and graduate degrees or professional certificates. More than half were working, some part-time; several were students; some were fully retired. They lived throughout the United States.
Many had landed in a new stage with a new focus, but a number were still searching for answers. Some were ecstatic; some were wary; some were thriving; some were still struggling with decisions on the other side of 50. For some, their decisions felt natural and effortless, even exciting. But others have continued to experience inertia, find themselves ‘stuck in first gear,’ and feel “rudderless.” As one participant put it, “For years it has felt like I’m on an island surrounded by a large moat and have not been able to find a bridge, or tools to make a boat or find a way to connect with the mainland.”
Through this research, we learned that most of us are used to making decisions. After all, we have made many decisions, often major ones, throughout our lives. We’ve faced tough decisions about careers, marriage, illness, children and parents throughout our lives. However, as we read and talked with people, we came to realize that bringing the approach that worked earlier in life to decisions and choices after 50 can get us into trouble. Without understanding why decision-making after 50 is different, it is difficult to change direction and find and use the right tools to figure out what to do next and how to deal with all the choices for the years ahead. It turns out that Swiss psychologist Carl Jung was right when he said that we cannot live the afternoon of life using the same program that worked in the morning. If you are finding that, like many others, that you are stuck in first gear and can’t figure out how to shift into second or third gear, or maybe even how to get started, we have several lessons and recommendations from our study. These recommendations can help you make more creative decisions on the other side of 50. There are also exercises for you to further explore those recommendations and ideas. So jump in, have fun and let us hear about your experiences with the following readings, the questions, and the exercises!